Why People Miss Out On Promotions
When you are simply too fun to be the boss
One day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who just so happens to be a really well-respected medical doctor. He always dresses appropriately — corporate trousers, nice shiny shoes and button-up shirts. His hair has been in the same sleek style for as long as I’ve known him and I’ve never seen him in a pair of jeans. He’s sensible, well-reasoned, always thinks before he speaks and his style and presentation represent 90% of the profession he is a part of.
During our conversation I began to whinge about how I didn’t feel respected in my work. I explained to him that I felt like people were happy for me to do all the work and be the behind-the-scenes worker. The same people however, were not okay for me to be the ‘face’ of that work.
I was the postscript, never the keynote. There was always someone more sensible, more professional and more respected who was a better representative to portray my hard work to the masses.
My friend stopped me amidst my complaining and said bluntly, “Leanne, you’re too fun to be promoted.” This stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know how to respond to this backhanded compliment. What did he mean by this?
His comment triggered a memory from my high school years. The school started a special club for the smartest kids. My parents received a letter saying that I qualified for the elite club due to my grades and there would be a special morning tea for students once a month.
Whilst my parents were pretty proud, I didn’t care too much for it as I knew the club would take away from the time I had with my friends. I did however hear that they would be providing free cake which was a draw card for me as I’d do almost anything for dessert, both then and now.
So, on the day of the inaugural ‘smart club’ I inconspicuously slid into the room, made a beeline for the cake and grabbed two slices before turning to head back towards the exit. A teacher blocked my escape and said curtly, “Leanne, what are you doing here, this group is for the gifted students?”
I was confused. Did I imagine the letter my parents had received in the mail inviting me to attend? I thought I was meant to be here — albeit I was probably supposed to hang around for more than the free feed.
I quickly realized that this teacher thought I wasn’t a smart kid. I did have a habit of being a bit disruptive in class — the class clown, I guess. I was known to jump out of windows when I was bored and had been sent to the principal’s office a few times. I didn’t exactly exude ‘smart kid’ vibes.
Looking back, I now understand that the way I acted and presented myself provided teachers with the evidence required to assume my worth and ability.
I recalled another occasion whereby I had received the highest grades for biology in my school. This meant that I was going to be awarded the biology subject award at the upcoming school awards night. During biology class a few days prior to the ceremony my teacher casually remarked, “I really didn’t want to give you this award as Josephine deserved it more than you.”
What he meant by this comment was that Josephine was the better student. She sat up the front, answered the questions and handed in her homework on time whilst I sat up the back making wild jewellery out of DNA beads and stole the occasional body part to use to scare my friends at lunch time.
Like Josie and my doctor friend, some people just come across as really smart. They ooze professionalism. They are serious and focused. They dress well even when ducking into the supermarket.
I’m completely opposite to these people.
When picking up my kids from school I wear sweats and some days, my pajamas. I have super curly bright orange hair that always looks messy and I generally hate wearing shoes. I live in a low socioeconomic area with graffiti on most fence palings. I’m thriving off working from home because I only have to look respectable from the neck up for Zoom meetings, hence I don’t even need to wear a bra.
When at work conferences however, I do ensure I somewhat fit the part by donning beautiful, yet quirky corporate power suits and I make the effort to put on makeup, shoes and a bra. I am however, also the one that stays until the end of the fancy dinners, chatting and dancing the night away with anyone who’ll oblige. I’m a free-spirited redneck who loves to laugh and have fun.
So, when my friend told me that I’m too fun for a promotion, it did make me stop and reflect.
What I think he was saying was that my personality was not suitable for the corporate world. My humor and spirit are not acceptable. Making people laugh in meetings is not going to make anyone respect me, even if they like me. Seeing the best in people despite the way they dress and engaging people in conversations where I show genuine interest in their world, not just the in job they do, isn’t going to do me any favors professionally.
I started to question myself. Perhaps I needed to change my whole personality, to suppress my highly extroverted and sometimes silly nature, to only consider another person’s value and worth for the way they dress and how serious they can present themselves on the public stage. Perhaps there’s no way anyone can consider me an expert in my field if I’m who I was born to be?
I thought about the people in my field that are the respected ones, the ones that provide the plenary presentations at conferences and are always in the spotlight.
Did I want to be like them?
I’ve heard a few of them casually put other people down to promote themselves more highly, some that couldn’t crack a smile even if they attended a comedy festival, ones that name drop and are constantly self-promoting and boastful and a lot of them that are just plain boring in my opinion.
Whilst there are a handful that I completely admire and respect due to a beautifully perfect mix of their expertise, experience and genuine kindness, these people seem to be few and far between.
So, a few weeks later when again speaking to my doctor friend, I informed him that I’d spent some time thinking about what he had said and I totally agreed with him.
I think he then expected me to say that I was now planning to ‘dull my light’ to appease others and gain the respect of the elite. Instead, I confidently let him know that I’m happy to stay down the bottom of the chain if it means that I can be me.
Perhaps my real calling is to challenge the perceptions and assumptions people make about success, professionalism and greatness. To encourage promotion of respect based on what we actually do, rather than how we look or our ability to reflect a professional persona. To drive respect in our corporate worlds based on core values such as kindness, enthusiasm, joy, and supporting and embracing others.
I’m too fun for a promotion. Thank goodness for that!
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