Signs You’ve Got Your Life Together
What mature adulting looks like
I don’t know about you, but for the most part, I feel like my life is far from ‘together.’ Being a middle-aged woman should signify that I possess some semblance of maturity however, most days I still feel like a teenager, not really knowing what I want to do with my life or what I want to be when I grow up.
Some days I consider becoming a florist, other days I want to be a member of parliament and then there’s those days where I don’t get out of my pajamas, eat a family block of chocolate in one sitting and binge on a reality TV series.
Whilst just last week I was presenting in front of a corporate audience, literally just today in an online work meeting I spent five minutes talking to my colleagues about how uneven my nostrils look on my laptop camera. I kid you not!
I’m wondering whether there comes a day when all of a sudden, my years of living actually result in wisdom. I don’t know that I’ve got any wisdom yet as I still call my mother to ask her how to cook a roast beef. Also, how on earth can I successfully raise two vivacious kids of my own if I’m still asking my dad which screw driver is a Phillips head?
I guess I’ve become pretty good at pretending to be a confident mom despite having absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I see some of my friend’s kids winning trophies at dance eisteddfods, ribbons at athletics carnivals and getting awards for academic achievement and here I am thinking it’s a good day if my child does up their own shoe laces and doesn’t leave a skid mark in their underwear.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at.
Perhaps you’re one of those remarkable individuals that has it all together or at least appears to. I take my envious hat off to you, whilst simultaneously sending a text to my best friend about your ridiculous perfection, how jealous I am of you and how your flawless hair makes me feel queasy.
There are a couple of things I’ve noticed about people who have their lives sorted and I reckon if I implemented these into my shambles of a life, then I might begin to trick people into thinking that I have my shit together too.
Firstly, when you visit their house, they have a candle burning or fragrant oil diffusing. I’ve taken to digging out every single candle I own, regardless of the scent, and burning them day and night. I believe it is effectively diffusing my immaturity into the atmosphere.
Next is all about lipstick. Women who have their lives sorted wear lipstick. It demonstrates that they’ve had a spare five seconds to care about their appearance and they look great for it. Splashing on any lipstick I can find, even some bright pinks from my 90s collection makes me feel like I’m totally smashing life, even if there is a smudge on my teeth.
I’ve also observed that people who have their lives together have plants and usually these plants are alive. They have cute watering cans and vegetable patches that produce things they can actually eat. Knowing this, I tried to grow my own plants. I bought pots and soil and planted some flowers. I also got my kids involved, planting some tomatoes together.
I felt pretty amazing when I harvested my one and only tomato. I was so close to becoming self sustaining, a true hunter gatherer. Sadly, within a month or two all my plants had died so I decided to fill my house with fake plants instead. Even though these artificial plants are now a little dusty and home to a few spiders they are definitely indicative of my mature existence.
‘Together people’ also seem to maintain budgets and diaries. When you ask them if they want to catch up for a coffee, they’ll open up their diary which validates their air of responsibility. I now carry around an empty out-of-date diary from 2019 that I picked up at the discount shop just to promote my sense of accountability.
Now children are the ultimate reflection of a ‘together’ parent. These children wear clothes that match and sport perfectly braided hair. You might recall from one of my previous articles, getting my daughter to wear more than a hat has been a real struggle.
My son on the other hand has, in the past, had a keen interest in eating his clothes. He is now quite impartial to odd socks, spots and stripes and always quick to remind me that ‘it’s what’s on the inside that matters.’
Unfortunately I haven’t yet been able to crack the ‘perfect child’ code, however I figure if I only buy my children blue colored clothing from this point forward then they’ll always match and thus reflect a mom who’s always comfortably in the drivers seat of her own life.
Finally, I’ve learnt that people who have their lives together don’t over indulge on alcohol. They know their limits, drink responsibly and always cite rationale reasons like ‘having to go to work in the morning’ to support them as they switch from booze to water. If I stop drinking then I will most certainly trick people into believing that I’m totally in control of my life.
Reflecting on this final point, perhaps I just need to accept that my life is not and will most probably never be ‘together.’ I’m a hot mess and unfortunately given how out of control my life is, a glass of red on a Friday night and a frivolous binge on the rare occasion may be here to stay.
No candle scent, glamorous red lipstick, thriving plant, impeccable budget or matching children will ever be enough to convince anyone that my crazy, ‘out of control,’ mom, wife and worker life has any semblance of ‘togetherness’ and I think I’m okay with that.
I’m going to embrace it!
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