Extroverts Have Feelings Too
Learning when to leave an extrovert alone
Like yin and yang, the complementary forces of the extrovert and introvert work in slick motion to maintain equilibrium within our social system.
The introvert, often seen as the introspective deep thinker, who tends to be quiet and reserved, is given the grace to ‘recharge’ alone after spending time with others. Given their unobtrusive nature, introverts are supported and allowed to be private and reflective and few question their silence.
Extroverts are not provided such leniency.
As an extrovert myself, I’m pretty in-your-face and I can understand why introverts need to hide from me. I’m loud, I’m bold, I’m extreme, I’m a bit too much and over-the-top. I’m energized by people, as long as they aren’t too annoying or too much like me. I thrive in a room full of introverts, can suck conversation out of a lamppost, and work a room like a campaigning politician.
In my home life, with my kids and introverted husband, my approach to life remains fairly consistent. Whilst at the end of a long day my husband retires to our bedroom for some solace, in his eyes, I may as well be banging on pots and pans, with the way I talk and talk and talk and talk… Thank goodness he’s very good at listening and listening and listening and listening…
There are times though when I need to retreat.
Sure, this may not be a daily necessity, but when I, as an extrovert need time-out from people and demands, you need to know, that I really, seriously need to be left alone. If I’m not sanctioned to back away from everything, I may just flip my lid and start sobbing uncontrollably in the corner, whilst laying in the fetal position.
When I require restoration and go quiet, my husband sometimes suggests that I’m in a bad mood, or even worse — I’m hormonal.
Look out!
The introvert steps up to accuse me of acting unreasonably. Hang on, let’s go back and consider the bazillion times the introvert has been afforded the space to withdraw into their internal sanctuary.
Surprising as it may be, extroverts have feelings too.
When I need my space, I am not in a bad mood or acting foolishly — my mind and body demand peace in a dark, isolate cave so I can revitalize.
When an extrovert needs to pullback, for goodness’ sake, just let them.
Don’t assume or cite that they are grumpy, moody, hormonal, or irrational. Accept, that like the yin to their yang, they just need to take a moment.
Give them space and let them breathe, without accusation, enabling them to come back to their comfortable place as the loud, pestiferous one introverts can only deal with in small doses.
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